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Tough decisions

Last Friday I had one of the best days in my professional career. That was mostly because I was able to tell a prominent junior their trial period is over and they would be promoted to full time employee. I was ending it early not solely because they were doing great job and also showed good progress. They had the right attitude and I saw them bringing a lot to the company not just technically, but building a better workplace. The relief I saw on their face when I told the news just made my day.

But after all that was an easy decision. They were doing a good job and were fit for the company culture. Tomorrow I have to make another kind of decision.

Even though the reasons have become apparent it's still not an easy decision to make. I keep thinking whether we have let them down by not providing enough support and opportunities to show their skills. I know we have tried our best, but maybe it wasn't enough.

I know it's going to feel bad. It already does even if I haven't made the final decision. Many say it becomes easier over time, the more you do it. I'm not sure I want it to become easier. It feels like that would mean losing something of myself. I just need to learn to live with it.