All those conversations I go through in my head. Over and over again. Ending up in different outcomes, trying to pick up the best one.
But it never goes like that in the real situation. I can't control the situation like I do in my head. It goes all different. The outcome something I didn't even think about. Or worse, the worst possible one I came up.
Why even bother if there is such a risk? Why even keep trying when the result is always something else? It's just easier to skip the whole thing. Remain silent and move on. That way it's a lot safer. There is no chance to fail.
But isn't not trying the same thing as failing? Without trying there isn't even a possibility to succeed. And those failures rarely are so bad that you end up in worse situation than you began with.
Maybe I shouldn't think too much of such things. Maybe I should just throw myself in those situations and go with the flow. Do I really need to practise all those hypothetical situations if they never go as I imagined. Despite all the iterations with different variations of how the situation could go.