Yodeller

I allocated 20 minutes for writing these yodels. 20 minutes seems to be enough when I know what I am writing about. I can write my thoughts on the subject out. I hope somewhat sensible way. There is even some structure. 1400 characters isn't that much after all. Ten tweets, around 250-300 words.

There might be so topics that I could do this all with just 20 minutes. But in general if I had to write about a random topic I don't think that text would make any sense. I'm not that good, yet.

The process starts usually immediately after I press the publish-button for the days text. I start thinking about the next topic. First about what should it be. Then what should I write about it. Sometimes there is also moments of doubt: should I write about it?

Eventually I have a rough structure about the topic, hopefully before I start writing. Then I just focus on that, writing. Trying to make a story out of that structure. Trying to write correctly.

Even if I have the structure ready and some sort of thought aboit how to write 20 minutes is still tight. I usually don't have time reading the text before publishing. No time to pay attention to spelling. Good thing there is spell checker, predictive text input and word suggestions that help with that.

I also can't just think about the next topic. I need to be on a lookaut for a new potential topics all the time.

Sometimes it's just not possible to concentrate on the writing. Bad nights sleep, busy morning. No quiet moment to write. Hard to keep your focus on the task.

This time we have some guests over. Can't really take 20 minutes to ignore them.

This is one of those mornings. First one so far on this writing journey, but definitely not the last. But I'm still writing, something. About how hard it is to write right now. This is not going to be a long post. I don't want to force it. Don't want to write nonsense.

I could wait for a quieter moment. Take a nap and try again. But at this stage of forming a habit it's more important to stick to the routine than care about the outcome. That wasn't the first priority on this exercise anyway.

This should be enough for now. Back to paying attention to our guests.

There are lots of things that feel uncomfortable. Doing those things again and again can make them feel more bearable. You get used to them.

For me many of the uncomfortable things are unexpected. You just can't be prepared for everything that comes up during the day. Not at least if you don't stay at safe places where you can control and predict all the things. But that would be limiting, boring. You need to get yourself out there.

But you can't repeat to get used to them. What I should prepare for?

I have tried to get comfortable with the feeling of uncomfortable itself. Making myself handle that better. Build up tolerance. It's easier to face that feeling when you can fsce them in the safe places. Decide what, when and where. Do something uncomfortable when you are safe. Notice that feeling. Notice how it's not that bad. I'll survive!

Remember that feeling. It might feel uncomfortable but you'll survive. It's a small victory, an accomplishment.

It can be simple thing. One thing I have been doing is washing my face with cold water in the morning. Perfect thing for this kind of practice. You put the water running, put your hands under the tap. Feel the coldness in your hands, anticipating the shock in your face. But it's not that bad. You actually feel refreshed, more awake. Less uncomfortable. You are ready to face anything today.

When you are trying to change someting in yourself it's better to focus on the change itself rather than setting goals.

Setting goals and trying to reach them might work, but I find myself often returning back to old habits after reaching the goal. It's a small victory, but doesn't resolve the issue. I haven't changed.

It's hard to keep yourself going without an aim, so goals have their purpose. When working on a change I'd however rather call them milestones. Something to work towards, but not the end destination. If you want to change you need to start, but there won't be the end. You just need to keep going.

Milestones can be anything. A week, a month, 100 days, a new record streak, 10 kg. Depending on what you are trying to archive and how far you are. There is no point setting your first milestone too high when you are just getting started. You need those victory moments more often then to keep yourself motivated. Just keep increasing them as you go so they also don't lose their meaning.

When you finally thing you are actually changed it's still good idea to keep count. Remember how many years ago you started the change, how long it took and most importantly: who you were back then and why you wanted to change. And never stop.

A year ago I set some goals for myself for this year. I didn't archieve any of them. Not even close. But I have learnt from my failures. I hope.

It wasn't a bad year still. I managed to accomplish a lot after all. I changed. Not much, but to the right direction.

Best things for the year just happened. I didn't plan them. I wouldn't even have quessed. First I rediscovered a hoppy from my youth. Thanks to my daughter I started larpping again after many years. One thing leads to another, and soon after my first new larp I also wanted to start writing them.

I also started hiking. Going to the nature was another thing I didn't realize I was missing from my past.

Most important thing that happened was that coaching session. The one that started this writing thing. I feel it's just a start, but start to something I have been waiting for years.

I was speaking in many different events. I hope I'm getting better at it with more experience. at least I'm still enjoying it.

There was a lot of travelling. Mostly due work but there was also our eventful trip to Croatia with family.

Speaking of work there were some challenges. I'm still searching for my position, but I feel I have found my calling and get great satisfaction from what I do.

In addition to hiking I didn't move too much. I should have, it shows on my waist. Maybe should have paid more attention to what I ate too.