Yodeller

Hi, my name is Janne and I'm an introvert.
No, I'm not saying there is something wrong being an introvert. I'm actually proud to be one. It's just at some point I took it wrong. A bit too literally and let it define who I am. And it wasn't even the right definition.

I didn't know who I was. I was searching myself. And then finally I came across the definition of introvert. Does it feel hard to talk to people? Do you feel exhausted around them? Does social situations make you anxious? Do you prefer being alone? Yes, yes, yes! That's exactly how I felt. Well, then you are an introvert, the silent outcast that doesn't like hanging out with people.

Now, being an introvert doesn't mean you have to be antisocial. It's not a reason to stay a way and remain silent. But that's exactly what I did. I thought: ok, I'm an introvert, I don't have to be the people person. I can't be, so why even try. I let that false definition define who I was.

Being an introvert or extrovert is not about social skills. It's about the energy. Where extroverts gain energy socializing with other people introverts on the other hand need energy for that and rather recharge in silence. In practice yes if you need to use energy to do something it does feel harder. But I can still learn it. I'm just 20 years behind.

I'm usually quiet but given a chance ( and maybe couple of beers) I can be quite the opposite. Specially if there is a chance to talk about something I'm passionate about I can just keep going. Maybe even too much so that I bore people to death telling them about something the might not be so interested in.

Sometimes it feels like this hapens because of some sort of panic reaction. When I finally have the chance I can't just let it go. I need to take everything out of it.

I might be a good listener and somewhat ok speaker, but what I'm lacking is the balance between those two. I can't do them both at the same time, in same conversation. Instead of keeping it a monologue I should focus more on making it into an actual conversation with both sides getting a chance to express themselves.

I'm sorry of you have ever had to listen my winding stories. But it meant a lot to me so I also want to thank you for listening.

After a great night out it usually hits: the hangover. Hanging out with a friends, evening full of laughter. But now you just think was it worth this? Maybe you should have stayed at home.

For an introvert it's a little bit the same even without any alcohol. I enjoy spending time with people who are close to me. It doesn't feel awkward. But still after spending time with them I feel exhausted, it takes energy to be social. After a while I need some solitude to get recharged.

Even if I know the bayback time will come I'm ready to take the loan to get a chance to connect with people. Not just enjoy the moment but share them with others. It is worth it.

If you really want to reach for a goal make sure you set your goals high enough. It doesn't even matter if you set it unrealistically high and never reach it. That'll keep you going.

But what about accomplishments? If the goal is out of your reach you won't get the satisfaction and revard for completing it. Set milestones, and collect those. Step by step you reach higher towards your goal. And in the end you might surprise yourself.

Setting a goal that you know you can reach is not challenging yourself. So why stop there? Set yourself up for a challenge.

Lets take running for example. If you set a goal to run 10k that's doable in six months. If you however set your aim to a marathon that might take you couple of years. But you might be already running more than 10k after half a year because of more rigorous training.

If you set your original goal lower and then when you reach it decide to carry on setting your nex goal again a bit higher you can reach results. But it will be slower.

And remember: it's not about the end result, it's about the journey.

Hardest things to remember are the things that you don't know you have forgotten.

For example lets say you need to buy milk, sugar, coffee, bread, butter, cheese, ham and eggs from the store. You get there, pick the cart and start collecting your groceries. You get bread and eggs, head to the dairy aisle for milk and cheese and finally pick up sugar and coffee on your way to the counter.
You go through your list as you remember it: milk, suger, coffee, bread, cheese, ham and eggs. Ups, you almost forgot the ham! You go back for the ham, everything is good.
Back home you decide to reward yourself for remembering everything with a sandwich. But there is no butter! How could you forget? You even checked you got everything before heading out.

If you think you remember everything you don't even stop to thing if you have forgotten something. With lists of things to remember it's easy to remember almost the whole list.

Now lists have this nice property, they have length. You can count the items on your list. And single number is quite easy to remember. Just compare that number to the number of items you thought you remembered and you immediately notice you have forgotten something. If you know you are missing something at least you have a chance to try and recall it.