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Welcome to the Yodeller: my ongoing project to try and write something every day. You can read more about the background from here. If you are a new reader you might want to start from the beginning.

Right amount of text

I have concluded there is three stages for a writer to produce text. We all start from the first stage. The stage where we struggle just to produce the minimal amount of required text. For some this can go over fast. Soon after they have learnt to write. Many, like me, stay in this stage for a lot longer.

First problems start at school. You are required to write essays. Minimum of foir pages. After writing two pages I already had a feeling I had written everything there is about the topic. But luckily the dawn of modern age technology saved me. Just set the margins a bit wider, increase font size and line spacing... there are ways to make two pages of text into four. Nowadays they have learned, and all those values are predefined. Or there is word limit, not pages.

When I couln't stretch my text that way any more then came the excessive use of filler words. You very well must know what I am talking about writing here at the moment. Horrible sentences.

Second phase is when you don't have problems to meet the limit. Instead you are easily going over it. Every time. I think I'm not there yet. I quess I'm at the sweet spot just between those phases. I fear it when I flip over to the phase two. Hopefully it will be over soon.

At final phase you can write about anything, in any amount of text. Just the right amount.

Sharing is scary

I don't speak much. Not if I don't have anything worth saying. Or just if I don't have to. I'm afraid of talking, sharing my thoughts and feelings. I fear social situations, small talk. I don't know what to say.

I try to work on my fears every day. Challenge myself. Do little things that feel anxious. It's slow process and takes lot of time and energy. I'm not sure if it's even making the situation any better.

Another way to face your fears is to do something even more scary. Going over the top. Facing it face to face. If you can survive that your everyday scary won't feel that scary anymore.

I thought: ok I'll go talk in front of an audience. Thats scarier than talking to few people in person. People like Conan O'brian have said to have been using this method, for the exact same fears.

The problem is I actually liked it. I found out I like to be on stage. I like the attention. I like sharing my knowledge.

Didn't help with my fear.

Now I have realized it wasn't the people, not the talking part. It was the sharing. Exposing myself. Telling something about me. I newer talk about my feelings, my inner thoughts, my hopes.

This is probably the scariest thing I've ever done.

I hope it helps.

Halfway there

Ah, the christmas time. Finally here. And after that we are already heading towards spring.

It's funny how it feels like christmas is in the middle of the winter. Only half the winter left after that. When usually we can call oirself lucky if the christmas is white at all. Even at it's best winter might have lasted just for a month at the time of christmas.

Astronomically yes, it is the middle. After that we are already starting to turn back toward sun. The days are getting longer, there is more light. But the weather doesn't agree. It takes some time for the weather to adjust.

Maybe it's comforting. Going through the darkest time of the year. It can surely feel like forever in cold, dark (and usually wet) Finland during the last few month of the year. So it's nice to think we are already halfway there when we finally get through them. Christmas is something worth waiting for, something that gets us through the darkest time.

So once again, we have made it. We are heading back to the light. Only half the winter to go before it starts to get (a bit) warmer. And most importantly: only half a year before Midsummer!

Have a happy christmas and thanks for reading so far!

Best presents are the given ones

I don't care much if I don't get a lot or fancy presents. I'm actually pretty hard to buy presents for. If I need or want something I go and buy it. I try to leave something for others closer to christmas. But I'm also picky (or maybe it's some sort of analysis paralysis), I like to get certain version, brand, the best one, suitable for me, the one I like.

I do appriciate the gifts I get. It's nice to get noticed and remembered. Thats enough for me. Sometimes it happens that I get something I didn't know I needed. Didn't remember. Or something really really thoughtful. Those are obviously the best ones.

For me the giving is the best part. I'm more excited seeing my familys reaction while they open my gifts for them than I'm seeing whats in my own packets. With teenagers there is not so much mystery anymore in christmas. No Santa, no secret wishlists. They want certain things and they know what they could get. And from who. It's getting hard to truly surprise them. Getting something they didn't wish for. Will they truly appriciate what I got for them. Is it the right kind or size?

Feels good when I see them surprised.

Movie review: Passangers

The movie tells a story about the 120 year long journey of spaceship Avalon. Carrying 5000 hibernated passangers towards their new colony world somewhere far.

Right at the beginning of the movie something goes wrong and our protagonist Jim is woken up 90 years too early. He tries to figure out whats wrong, explores the ship and finally almost gives up to loneliness. He is then 'saved' by the girl.

The movie isn't scifi. It tries to be comedy, a love story and there is elements of the catastrophe movie. Some of the ships computers replies are hilariously unintentionally sarcastic. It tries to be too many things without succeeding in any of them. At best it's at the castaway genre. A Robinson Crusoe adaptation where the man gets stranded but this time before the shipwreck.

The story doesn't leave much of whys. Other things however do. Like why does it take laser communications signal 19 years to reach back earth if they have been traveling 30 years with currently 50% speed of light. Even if they could have jumped directly to that speed they shouldn't be more than 15 lightyears away.

So it's probably better switch of your brains and just enjoy the view. And what a view. It's visually stunning movie with beautiful views of space. Also the ship itself is of interesting design. Borrowing lots of cues from classic scifi like 2001, Star Trek and Alien.