mind

Me and my wife both drink a cup of coffee in the morning. Earlier we both used to drink two cups, but have recently dropped it down to one. The responsibility of making the coffee falls to the one waking up earlier, or sometimes to me even if she gets up before me if she's not in a hurry.

Our coffee machine has the water container with measurements of water per cup in increments of two. We however like to drink a bit bigger cups. The correct amount for our two cups is about 5 cups on the machine's scale.

Trying to focus can be hard. Especially when you are doing boring tasks that don't require that much thinking. It's easy to let your mind drift away from the current task and start thinking something completely different. Usually it's a good thing. It makes those menial tasks more bearable and helps pass the time.

There are also times when that's a bad thing. If you are doing something that is boring, but which still requires you to be aware of your surroundings it can even be dangerous to lose the focus. Driving is a good example of this.

I have vivid memories or moments when I have been reminiscing some other, older happenings. Isn't it enough to just remember those memories? What's the point of remembering also when you have remembered them.

Sometimes the memory of those occasions can be more clear then the actual memory. Or at least when I try to remember it directly. Maybe I don't even remember the original memory anymore.

We humans are highly self-conscious individuals. Despite the need to work as a hive mind to accomplish greater things we like to keep ourself closed and intact. At it's core we thing we reside completely inside out heads, in our brains. Even in the broadest sense we keep ourself limited to our physical body.

One of the challenges for me to express myself is the fact that I'm one of those people who don't have my internal thought process narrated. My mind is filled with a chaos of images, feelings and, with a lack of better word, thoughts. It's hard to translate those into words.

Even when I think I have translated some of that chaos into words in my mind there is still a lot more tied to it than just the mere meaning of it. It's connected to other things in different ways.

I don't know why, but it just popped into my mind earlier today while I was just lying down on the couch. It came so out of the blue I had to actually stop there and look around. But there was nothing reminding about them anywhere on sight. I wasn't either thinking anything related. Wasn't thinking much of anything really, just resting there.

Sometimes I get so big topics in my head I don't even where to start unravelling them. Getting it all out at once feels like a huge task, but at the same time, it feels impossible to split it into smaller pieces. Those pieces just don't seem to fit back together. There is too much missing from between them.

Nothing of it seems to make any sense outside of my head. There it's just perfect complete construct, but anything I get out feels incomplete and scattered. Eventually, I might get everything out, but I don't know how to tie it all back together.