challenges

No, I'm not too tired to write right now, but there has been multiple occasions when I have been so tired I didn't want to write. Last such day was two days ago after the phone hunting episode.

There are things I want to write about. But I just can't seem to get those posts done. They are more than just random thoughts or facts, they are things that really matter.

First of all, they need a lot more effort to write. It doesn't do justice for them to not pay attention to write those words properly. I feel like I don't have the time or the energy to put into writing about those things.

For some reason I haven't felt like writing today. Quite the opposite. Haven't had these for a while now. Especially after I started writing in the morning again.

Maybe I'm just too tired. We did stay up quite late last night. But I did sleep well. The whole night actually. First time in a while I didn't wake up in the middle of the night. And didn't wake up early in the morning either. Slept until nine, which might not sound that late, but it surely is for me.

One of the challenges for me to express myself is the fact that I'm one of those people who don't have my internal thought process narrated. My mind is filled with a chaos of images, feelings and, with a lack of better word, thoughts. It's hard to translate those into words.

Even when I think I have translated some of that chaos into words in my mind there is still a lot more tied to it than just the mere meaning of it. It's connected to other things in different ways.

We recently introduced competence guilds in our company. The idea is to function as a home for people with similar skills to have a home to grow and share knowledge when our teams are ever changing and composed of people with different skillsets.

I don't know how many times I have started this post already. I don't know if this one will get until the end. But must keep trying until I succeed.

It's not that I wouldn't have anything to write about. Or that I  didn't know how or what to write about those ideas. It's not even that those would be something I wouldn't feel comfortable writing about.

Quite the opposite. After such an inspirational weekend I have way too much to write about and I'm having trouble choosing just one.

It doesn't take much to get off the track. Especially the stronger the routine the easier it is to derail. As long as you let that small thing interrupt you.

So it's better to ignore everything else as far as possible until you are through your routines. Else, it might be hard to get back. Those routines are usually there exactly because they are the hardest things to make ad hoc. You really depend on the routine to get it done.

I don't want to write right now. Not just because I'm tired and it's late. I would have wanted to go to sleep hours ago already.

Not because I don't have anything to say. I would have a plethora of things to write about. It's more like I don't know where to start. 

But it's not that either. I could ponder a moment and surely find some end of a thread which to start pulling.

It's none of these things and it's all of those. Too much, or little and too late. I just can't think I could have been able to go any deeper than this.

There has been so much happening recently that I don't know where to start. While it was all happening I was too busy to write about them properly. Then I was too tired to write about them. And now it starts to be late to remember every detail properly.

There have been different obstacles on my way go this point on my streak. But during those years I haven't encountered this one before. How many there might still be ahead of me?

Today, a sudden pain started radiating on my back. Since then it has been hard to find a posture where it doesn't hurt too much. So it has been even harder to be able to write.